Sunday, February 24, 2008

What must I do?

My gipseian and pigmaean readers, I must tell you that my quandary has not yet been resolved. This week I have hummed and hawed (and hornswoggled, though that is completely unrelated), yet I cannot decide what to do for the best.


I will decide the matter on the toss of a coin. Yes - hang it all! - that is what I shall do. Excuse me, dearest readers while I throw myself upon Fate's mercy. If the coin lands on heads, I will take the pills. If it lands on tails, I will not.

...I have the coin. It is a tuppence. Destiny awaits, gentle readers, destiny awaits.

I toss (the coin).

It has landed.

...Readers, I am afraid that the best laid plans of mice and men, as they say, gang affy gay. The coin has landed in a small globule of mashed swede upon the floor, directly side-on. It is neither heads nor tails.

Alas, Fate means for me to be decisive.

Thus, I will set up a poll: readers, you must decide my course of action. For you, this will be akin to a Fighting Fantasy 'Choose your Own Adventure' game book because I will do whatsoever you choose. I pray that my adverture does not end here.

Kindly let me know what I should do. Take the bhujeum pills? Eschew the bhujeum pills?

16 comments:

Professor Jessica Flitey said...

Mr Carew,

Do not take these pills. They are undoubtedly mind-altering drugs with which Dr. Fell will control your soul.

Blessings be,

Prof. Jessica Flitey

Dr. Anthony Gland said...

Horton, you must take the pills. Dr. Fell has your best interests at heart - he would not do anything to harm you. They will make you all better and you'll soon be able to leave the home and get back to normal.
Take the pills Horton!

Anthony Gland

Professor Jessica Flitey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kenny Pome said...

Hey "Horton"!
Interesting little dilemma you've formed here - gotta admit I quite like the idea of opening this up to the readers - critics are always banging on about "interactive" web fiction and that so I guess this is an example of that. In the interests of the narrative,m I'd say its gonna be much more entertaining if Horton takes the Boojum pills (nice Carol ref btw;-)) so I say 'Go for it!!".
It'll be interesting if you go down the route of utterly changing the narrative voice as Horton looses his "normal" (lol) personality and his mode of narration - heteroglossia within the character himself? Spilt personalities idea? Typical of the Scottish Double. Are we to see Horton's Hyde (or poss. Jekyll (pron. Jeekil btw!) - I've long thought of Horton as the "dark, warped version of another character, hidden from readsers - we only see the 'hyde' figure's POV in 'Horton's Folly2 ... oopes, hope I';ve not ruined any twist u might have been going for?? ;-))
Anyhoo, TAKE THE PILLS!
cheers,
Kenny Pome

Anonymous said...

TAKE THE PILLS!

Jack said...

Do not take the pills Horton, lest they turn you into Steve M. Tubbock.

Anonymous said...

Don't do it Horton - Don't.

Dave said...

I reckon you should go for it!

Jan said...

It would seem to me that you should eschew the Bhujeum pills. Should you take them, your life may be forfeit.

GraveSonnet1976 said...

Horton, my old cock-sparra, don't consider this for more than 2.46 nanoseconds. You have woeful bad luck in these matters - taking the pills would cause no end of trouble.

BlackfaceJynx said...

DUDE THIS BLOG ROX!!

TKAE THE PILLS!!!

Zammo in Heaven said...

Just say no!

Groanin' Jock said...

Drugs are bad, mmmmmkay. Except they're not as bad as a daily beating. Take the pills.

Cakehole said...

Take the pills because they will cure you and you can escape...

Anonymous said...

Why would he need to escape if he was to be cured? Surely you jest and this is some riddle or pun...

Lord Elfcot said...

You should definitely take the pills. They will definitely cure you.