Sunday, April 06, 2008

Tomorrow's righteous atrocities

My dearest and most fragrant of readers, I have once again been considering the various ways and means by which I will gain revenge against Dr. Fell when he visits my home tomorrow.

When he enters my home I must quickly render him unconscious so that I can better prepare him for his treatment. Readers, do not be shocked by the premeditated nature of my actions: I am surely justified because of his initial cruelty to me. "A nigh for a nigh" as people inexplicably seem to say in situations like this.

I have devised one technique for knocking him out but worry that it may be too fanciful. I have provided a sketch of my methodology below. Dr. Fell is imagined as being played by the late Sir Harry Secombe.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I do not know where you will find an anvil (they are not sold by the majority of UK retailers), yet I commend the spirit with which you are entering the business of murder. Good luck to you.