Sunday, June 04, 2006

The Game is Beaten!

I have repetitive strain injury in my wrists and find myself hunched and near blind thanks to my excessive effort to solve this computerised puzzle. Nevertheless, I have triumphed. The cavern "Ameobatron's Revenge" caused me significant difficulties, but after learning the trick of it, there were only two further levels to complete, which by the grace of a god I managed on my first attempt.

When Miner Willy flung himself into the game's final exit, the screen faded to black. Then the strange eggman from level 5, Eugene, appeared and a few lines of text emerged from his lipless mouth.

"Congratulations game-player. I am Eugene. I am the Architect. I created these computer-generated subterranean grottos. You have successfully beaten my design, although you remain irrevocably human. Your ascendancy and incontestable accomplishment is merely the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of 'Manic Miner'.

You are the residuum of an anomaly, which, despite my sincerest efforts, I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains an encumbrance assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here... Please phone 6031769, provide your name and address, and we will send you your prize.

--Hughes de Payens Software Ltd, in conjunction with Bug-Byte, Hull, UK, 1983."

I immediately dialled the number and gave my details. A shadowy, raspy voice reeking of mystery and imbued with the tomb-dust of accumulated centuries said that I would receive my comeuppance in due course, which sounds very exciting! At last, everything's coming up Horton now!

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