Last week I sent an electronic payment to the poetry people in America. There was an additional handling fee of $100, an editor and indexer fee of $319, and overheads of $50, but this was well worth it for the opportunity to touch the hearts and souls of thousands of people worldwide with my art.
A few days later, the Americans were in touch to say that the poetry collection in which my piece appears had been published, and should I wish a copy, it would cost me $35.99. Needless to say, I ordered 15 copies to hand out to friends and family. This incurred an additional delivery charge of $90.
This morning they arrived - the book is entitled "Poetry Collection Vol. 3082", and my poem appears on page 450. I am famous. My name is in print.
I ventured outdoors and stood in the front garden in my dressing gown and hollered in celebration. Mrs Cribbage from across the road came and asked me to be quiet, but I scowled at her and said "I have nothing to declare but my genies" (this quotation is purloined from another man of the Arts, Oscar Zarate) .
Today will be a day devoted entirely to joy at my achievements, so I will not get dressed in formal wear and will instead retain my pajamas. There will be no need to wash.
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1 comment:
Congrats welcome to another published poet!
In the future there are many poetry associations that don't charge for publishing your work.
Unless you want a copy, of course.
My last one was only $60 for the copy of the book.
AKA YeeMum
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