Saturday, February 24, 2007

My Resolve Is Finally Defeated

The final steps towards losing myself completely to the diabolical word of evilness have almost been taken. I feel unable to withstand temptation any longer.

Is denying responsibility for my weakness merely proof that I have already in some way succumbed to evil? I do not know. I will say that few men could withstand the temptations I have been compelled to endure and survive unscathed and untainted. Well do I remember the harrowing day in which my dead mother, in the form of the little scottie dog from Monopoly, turned evil. From that day forth, this mysterious associate has contrived to wind herself into my affairs, both spiritual and temporal, and break me. Surely no man is strong enough to resist the myriad benefits of evilness? Whether it behoves me to curse God for forsaking me these last days, or to curse myself for failing to be stronger in resolution, is hid from my discernment and will remain so hidden until that day when my accounts are to make up and reckon for in another world.

I will go, weeping now, to the fridge. There I will take out a crystal of pure evil and devour it. I hope it doesn't taste like horseradish - I can't abide the stuff.


Dr Anthony Gland said...

Horton! Do not do this thing!

Jessica said...

Mr Carew, you must follow your life path wherever it takes you. If evil is your destiny, you cannot escape it.

Blessings be,
Professor Jessica Flitey

Wilf said...

Now I understand why you warned me about the evilness of evil, Horton. Thank goodness I know you.