Friday, March 02, 2007


Readers, I am evil. Doubtless you will scarcely recognise my new mode of narration because I am now so unconscionably iniquitous, but I care not!! You will observe that I made use of two exclamation marks at the end of the last sentence. This is not in keeping with accepted rules of punctuation, but I am free of such tyranny now that I am evil. My dead mother was dead right - I have greatly enjoyed my albeit brief daliance with the world of wickedness - all my doubts and fears about embracing evilness now seem immature and misguided - I revel in my sins, and derive inestimable pleasure from committing atrocities, and not just atrocities of punctuation!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-)

You will see that I made use of multiple exclamation marks and a 'smilie' at the end of the previous sentence. Had I not informed you that I was evil, most of you would have guessed by now - no person possessing any degree of morality would deliberately choose to so offend their readers by utilizing such tortuous effects. My decent into the maelstrom of evilness is so assured that I can even leave glaring spelling errors uncorrected in my writing, as in this sentence!! I care nothing for my readers' enjoyment, so evil am I. Horton Carew? You must now call me Hellrton Scare-ew, because I am so evil. And bow when you do so.

You will see that I am late in updating this blog (it cannot escape your notice that I now use the unpleasant-sounding word 'blog' to refer to my electronic diary - this is because I am evil and no longer wish to protect my readers from the vagaries of irritating modern-day nonce words). The erratic approach to the updating of blogs shows severe disrespect for one's readers. Thus, because I am evil, I will continue to annoy you by not updating regularly.

From now on, I will refer to my readers as 'halfwits' because I am evil. Any photos I choose to post will be offensive in nature and will cause you distress. But who cares?!! Not me, I'm evil!! You halfwits.

1 comment:

Wilf said...

I think you need to change your diet, Horton