My reign is already beseiged with problems, a schism having formed among the birds. This morning, to demonstrate my capricious nature to my subjects, I fed the sparrows with succulent apple cores and gave the gulls nothing but carpet swatches. It was my intent to favour the sparrows for the first year, then favour the gulls for the second, so that neither should become complacent.
At once I realised the folly of this whimsy, for the gulls became threatening and began to pixelate. Their stilted and awkward movements strike terror into my heart. In this guise they have waged a holy war against the sparrows and myself, pecking and squawking. A great many sparrows lie maimed. As King of birds, it is my duty to end this affront, but for now I have abandoned the lawn in fear and taken refuge indoors where I must consider my plan carefully.
2 comments:
Our high resolution birds have pixels so small they will fit through the letter box.
You are an agent of the birds seeking to demoralise me with wicked propaganda and palpable mistruths. Begone!
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