Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Disappointing Results

I confess that I was somewhat hasty in concluding that I was becoming a bee. I put this misunderstanding down to excessive strain on my mental faculties during my last few days as a scientist. The carbuncle at the base of my spine was not a sting, but merely my vestigial tail, which I have been cursed with since birth. The possibility of worldwide fame as a consequence of my discoveries led me to see results where there were none - just one more scientist corrupted by fame. For this I apologise.

Today the dead bee I have been examining has posthumously sloughed its winter coat, and the tiny face on its stomach has withered away to nought. Within this hirsute bee-skin was a wasp. I now realise I have been wasting valuable time on this damn fool study, so I was left with no option but to commit the wasp to the flames, and temporarily abandoned my scientific ambitions.

3 comments:

Jane D. said...

you should probably go outside. get some air. blink.

HORTON CAREW said...

I fear the outdoors. It is too big.

Jane D. said...

there's a very David Firth-ish tone to this site