Thursday, May 11, 2006

L'Oreal's Secrets Revealed Via Ghost.

My recent ghostly visitor

I have enjoyed further success in conversing with the dearly departed. Yesterday another ghost came to my door and again took on the appearance of a flesh and blood person in an effort to deceive me.

"Hello good sir," he said obsequiously.
"Hello," I replied suspiciously.
"How are you this morning?" he asked enquiringly.
"I am well," I replied truthfully.
"May I enter?" he asked meaningfully.
"I suppose you may," I returned coquettishly.
"This is a delightful house," he said hennishly.
"Why thank you," I said mawkishly.
"May I sit down?" he asked churlishly.
"Help yourself," I replied amateurishly.
"Right then Mr...?" he began bewitchingly.
"Carew," I answered defiantly.
"Okay Mr Carew, I have something exciting to share," he declared calculatingly.
"Do tell," I said deafeningly.
"First, I have to say that I love your hair," he stated candidly.
"Thank you again," I said winsomely.
"But if I may be so bold, I think it could be improved," he offered accusingly.
"I must say I'm offended," I said dishearteningly.
"I apologise," he said edifyingly.
"No need - please go on," I said apparently.
"Have you heard of Nutrilium?" he asked scathingly.
"I have indeed," I replied reassuringly.
"Well, Mr Carew...or may I call you Clive?" he asked toyingly.
"If it pleases you, you may call me Clive," I opined sporadically.
"Well Clive, as you know, Nutrilium was discovered in 1996 by the boffins at L'Oreal," he said unblinkingly.
"Of course I know this," I replied presumably.
"Well, Nutrilium is a new element, previously unknown to the scientific community," he suggested tantalisingly.
"Pray continue," I urged swooningly.
"As you may know, Nutrilium works wonders on human hair - it improves its condition tenfold," he said self-pityingly.
"Yes, this is common knowledge," I said quietly.
"But L'Oreal have refused to share their knowledge with the world, and hold the scientific community to ransom, for only they can produce this marvellous element!" he squealed triumphantly.
"That is horrific," I told him successfully.
"Indeed Clive! But I have been working under cover in L'Oreal's laboratories and have discovered the secret of Nutrilium," he revealed promisingly.
"Amazing!" I declared uncomfortably.
"For just $250, I will tell you the secret Clive, and you can produce Nutrilium in your own home for free," he shouted rejoicingly.
"I'll do that deal," I said deftly.

And with that, the deal was done swiftly and pleasingly. He gave me a piece of paper with strange instructions that I will attempt to follow at a later date.

What a nice ghost he was!

1 comment:

Faith said...

Oh now you've done it. Those guys at L'Oreal don't mess around and will stop at nothing to get their secrets back...