Struck Down by Illness

I have lain spread-eagled across my bed for the past few days, suffering from a debilitating head-cold. I believe that this was caused by airborne germs easily making their way into my ear passages, bereft as they are of precious earwax thanks to the malfeasance of the ants.

These insects are besting me with depressing ease - I am now much too ill to defend myself and my home from them. As reported earlier, the ants have among their number a squadron of flying ants. These creatures are capable of carrying small items through the air, such as almonds and drawing pins, with which they have used to bombard me, to my great detriment.

I still hold their General hostage in a drawer and I fear that this is the only thing preventing them from proceeding with whatever grand scheme they may be entertaining. Dear readers, I begin to despair - it is surely only a matter of time before the ants devise a way of opening my bureau and releasing their leader. At this point, my life may be forfeit.

Pray for me.