Tuesday, October 17, 2006

A Plea to London Readers

Although I admit that I am somewhat relieved that the whole business with Patrick Bossert is finished with and out of my hands, I feel honour-bound to at least try to aid in the capture of Mr. Templeton Collysnook of London. I have no means of getting to London myself, but I have prepared a photofit likeness of the cad so that if any readers of my electronic diary who dwell in the Capital should see him, they might perform a citizen's arrest.

Here is the bounder:

As you will note, he looks not unlike a younger Terry Wogan or a scrawnier John Updike or a less Korean Daniel Dae Kim, with something of Carrie Fisher's jaw. There is a hint of Paul Shane around the temples with the nostrils of William Randolph Hearst. As you can see, the forehead is almost identical to that of Zooey Deschanel, and the chin is Vera Drake's, but I am undecided on the jowels - they look something like a paler Michael Fishman (D.J. from Roseanne) or a clean-shaven Greg Evigan (B.J. from BJ and the Bear) or a besmattered Anthony McPartlin (P.J. from Byker Grove) or a fatter William Shatner (T.J. from T.J. Hooker).

Good luck catching the cove!

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