Woman's Weekly

Today started exceedingly well for me, dear readers. Women's Weekly received my electronic mail in which I told them of my humorous anecdote yesterday, and they have awarded me five pounds sterling for my efforts! I decided to have another amusing misunderstanding today so that I might earn another five pounds for myself.

I picked up a piece of Lego that I found in the hall and ventured outdoors. My intention was to feign a collapse in the street and grab hold of a small child as I fell. When the small child shouted, "Ah, let go!" I planned to produce the piece of Lego and say, "Did you say 'Lego'? Why child, here is a piece for you!", whereupon we would all laugh heartily at the mistake and the child's parents would treat me to a fish tea.

The actual events of the day were disappointing. I earned myself a punch in the neck from an irate father. I did manage to work a misunderstanding into the situation by saying, "Oh, you're the child's Father you say? So you are a priest then, are you Father? Will you hear my confession then?", but this only earned me a box on the ear.

I have decided that Woman's Weekly will not be interested in publishing this story.