Hostage

Something unpleasant has occurred. I will be unable to write entries in this electronic diary for, I would estimate, at least one week. I am taken hostage and I greatly fear that my life may be forfeit. One whom I can only name B____ has orchestrated this perverse and terrible stunt, but has granted me permission to quickly explain my forthcoming absence to my readers whom I prize most dearly. I am sure that these will be dark and trying days for me, dear readers. Pray for me. I hope to survive my ordeal and retain sufficient digits upon my return to allow me to type a full update.

Try not to weep too copiously while I am taken off to be brutalized, for it is not my wish that my readers suffer agonies along with me. I suggest you amuse yourselves by playing some type of racket sport or by experimenting with traybakes - something fun to distract you from the excrutiating, interminable days of anxiously awaiting my return, and begging the Fates that it will be a safe one...

I am urged by B____ to hurry. Farewell.