Thursday, January 18, 2007

Dog Eat Hough

I have made another discovery concerning the scottie dog. I earlier prepared a teatime meal ('tea') consisting of cod roe with salt, potted hough spread thickly on toast, and a battenburg cake of my own invention (omitting all ingredients but the marzipan). Upon finishing my repast, I observed that the scottie dog now stood in a small puddle as though it had been drooling, its appetite aroused by the delicious smells of my food.

I placed a smear of salted cod roe, a globule of potted hough, and a chunklet of battenburg beside the scottie dog's snout to see if it could be persuaded to eat the food it evidently craved. I observed it for 35 minutes but nothing happened. I left the lounge to change my bedding and bury some soiled catalogues in the back garden. When I later returned, I noted that the potted hough had gone and, though the dog's expression remained fixed, it seemed somehow to radiate a sense of satisfaction. Apparently the little scottie dog from Monopoly enjoys savoury foods the best for it has left the battenburg untouched. The roe must not have been quite savoury enough for it, salted though it was.

An old-fashioned battenburg with an alarming paucity of marzipan

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