Friday, January 19, 2007

I Offer More Treats to the Dog


As I prepared to shave my neck this morning with an electric turkey carver, I heard the mysterious voice once more uttering "...no, Horton..." which has become my cue to desist at once from whatever activity I am currently engaged in. Of course, I realised my folly at once - the vibrations from the electric turkey carver could have easily caused me to drop it, whereupon it could have landed on my toe. Thank goodness I was warned in advance!
To thank the little scottie dog for its guidance and wisdom, I decided to offer it a second treat. Remembering that it seemed to favour savoury foods, I decided to create the most savoury item I could.
Thus I prepared a solution of Oxo, gravy, marmite, oxtail soup, Guinness, pulped roasted peanuts, and salt. Into this I dunked a slice of Tongue and allowed it to marinate for 2 minutes, then left it beneath the snout of the little pewter dog.
For the first time, it has changed its refrain. I felt a tear well up in my left eye and then my right eye as I heard a tender, quavering voice whisper, "...thank you, Horton..."

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