Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Further Wickedness

The itinerant Pole eventually regained consciousness. Currently he is tied up in the living room. It was I who trussed him up in such a way, because it seems that I am irredeemably evil. How he weeps! If I wasn't evil, I would certainly be wracked with guilt and fear over my inhuman actions to this Pole, but I am evil and hence feel no such guilt or fear.

I have not yet done anything to physically harm him (apart from the initial bludgeoning), though my dead mother berates me constantly and urges me to do so. She calls for the Pole to be skinned. She is fixated upon this point and will not accept anything less. How the man weeps! It is difficult to concentrate with such a din.

In an attempt to placate my dead mother, I made some effort to torture the Pole by making a hot cocoa for him but I wilfully omitted the sugar so that he visibly winced at the bitterness of that drink. My dead mother was unimpressed by my barbarity and continued demanding that I skin the Pole at once.

How he weeps! Because I am evil, I suppose I must ultimately skin the man, yet something stays my hand. It cannot be guilt or pity because I am terribly evil and unaffected by such whimsies. I must take a while to strengthen my courage and remind myself that I am a being of pure evil.

Must go now - Dragons' Den is on.

1 comment:

Dr Anthony Gland said...

HORTON! STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW! DO NOT LISTEN TO THE VOICE!!

I will be round shortly. The police have been called.

Do nothing but wait!