On Friday the professors and doctors are to visit, so I have begun preparations to make my house presentable. This visit will be akin to a situation comedy of the 1970s, for Professor Jessica Flitey is an expert in ghosts and demons, and accords me greater attention when evidence of such ghoulies are present. Conversely, Doctor Anthony Gland is a rationalistic psychiatrist who prizes my sanity above all earthly things, and does not tolerate the stories I tell, for he fancies them to be fantastical and tainted by the untruths of some unidentified mania. As a host, I must devise a way to keep both parties satisfied, which will doubtlessly lead to all manner of humorous misunderstandings.
To bring my home into a state suitable to welcome eminent scholars, I have laid several of my old mathematics jotters from high school upon a coffee table and placed a sprig of parsely atop the pile, as a kind of 'intellectual garnish'. I believe this is the sort of thing academics go in for.
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Mr Carew, please do not put yourself to any trouble for my sake. I do not want you to go to any lengths to produce supernatural phenomena: these must appear genuinely and spontaneously, as with previous visits.
Please note also that I am not a Professor of 'ghosts and demons' as you put it, but rather I am Professor of Parapsychology and Paranormal Investigation. This is an important distinction to make.
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